Monday, November 5, 2012

It's time to get rid of the merde



Having covered a rather positive aspect of French society last week, this week I am exploring some areas France could well do with improving. France is a paradoxical place. It envisaged and constructed one of the best and fastest train systems on the planet, and yet many restaurants and public places still don’t have seats on their toilets. They have exceptional, intelligent cuisine, but dog poo lines nearly every street. In France you learn to walk with your eyes fixed on the pavement in order to avoid the all-too-frequent dollops of “merde” (which is a shame considering there is often much to see above head height). Why restaurant owners cannot invest in toilet seats and the state make fouling illegal is beyond me. France has the amazing ability to excel in certain more difficult areas and fail dramatically at the more simple things.   

A friend recently recounted to me a particularly annoying episode in which she went to see her University tutor. The tutor is available for consultations on Wednesdays, but it is not possible to book a time, you just have to go and wait to be seen. Democratic perhaps, but completely senseless. My friend arrived at 9am only to wait until 6pm to see her tutor. This system wastes people’s valuable time and yet it could so easily be dramatically improved. Shops persistently fall down in a similar way. I was recently in a book shop where there were four members of staff behind the counter. There was a long line of customers waiting to purchase something and yet only one of those personnel was managing to serve someone, and painfully slowly at that. I realise impatience is an ugly quality but please could someone serve me before I boil over with frustration? This same book shop has five floors. If you go in and ask if they have a specific book, staff cannot just check on any computer, but the customer has to climb several storeys to the particular section of the shop and ask there. Surely with advanced technology they could change this so that you can check on any level? Why don’t they make it easy for customers?

Let’s take public transport as another example. When you arrive in a city by train, you would think there’d be some information about local transport available in the train station. No. How about the tourist office? No again. You have to go to the office that specifically deals with transport. Perhaps it’s sensible to keep all of the information about transport in one place, but surely the most obvious places for tourists to look for this information would be the tourist information office or the ‘gare’. Couldn’t the transport office make a few extra copies of its timetables for the Tourist Info? Surely tourists as well as locals are going to want to find about how to get around town, and surely it is in the local authority’s interest to make things as easy as possible for tourists? 

In my beautiful French city there is a Médiathèque, i.e. a library with computer and media facilities. Now, forgive me if I assumed too much, but one might think that a place with such a name would be well equipped in the IT department. However, their computers are so old they don’t even have USB portals, there is no wifi, printing is a ridiculously long process, and photocopying? You’d be so lucky. France is obviously an outstanding country in many ways, but it is oddly backward in others.

Beyond these odd and minor frustrating qualities, France also happens to be “un pays d’administration”, that is, a country of bureaucracy. Despite the delightful relaxing aspects that French culture brings – sitting in lovely outdoor cafés, spending hours over a meal, the warm and uplifting weather – it is often surprisingly difficult to live here. That is, the day to day tasks that people have to carry out are often made unnecessarily difficult. Take opening a bank account for example. You need a copy of practically all official documents you own: passport, driver’s licence, birth certificate, recent proof of address, your landlord’s proof of address and ID, a payslip, passport photos, proof of student status... I realise some of these formalities are similar in the UK, but for some reason, here, activities like these take far too long and are the source of unnecessary, excess anguish. After seven trips to the bank ensuring that you have given exactly the right documents, your bank card will then be sent to your bank, and not to your house which would be far more sensible. When you then try to do anything in the bank, you need to have your ID card, which for us foreigners means your passport. Needless to say carrying around your passport all day is not advisable, and if you offer your driving licence instead of your passport it will not go down well. If you wish to close your account, or change anything significant, it must be done at the branch where you opened your account. This may seem reasonable at first thought, but if you consider how much people move around these days, students in particular, it can cause great problems. There seems no sensible reason why you can’t do these things in any branch. I have one friend in mind who has been trying to obtain a new pincode for 2 years to no avail because of the ridiculous bureaucracy involved. At one point they said they couldn’t send it to her because her address was too long to fit in the box on their computer system! Furthermore, because of the difficulty of banking here, when you do go to the bank there is always a crowd, and rarely an organised queue. Do we form one line or three lines if there are three counters? Confusion prevails, English people get impatient, and the bank staff never seem to take it upon themselves to make it clear to people how they should wait in order for the person who arrived first to be served first. Surely it’s not that difficult for someone to create a bit of order?

Setting up a mobile phone is another nightmare. In the UK, you can literally set a phone contract up and running in 15 minutes. In France you are lucky if it happens within a week. Again, you need what seems like a ridiculous collection of documents in order to set up a contract – bank account statement, bank card, proof of address, ID of the property owner, passport... . In all but one particular phone shop, it will then take several days for the sim card to be registered and activated. I do not understand why they need all these documents and why it must take forever. Presumably if the network operator receives their money each month and the customer receives their texts/minutes/internet, then everyone will be happy? Surely your landlord’s ID card is superfluous information? But for the French apparently it is not. It has to be a painstakingly long process. 

Processes with the French CAF (Caisses d’Allocations Familiales – living allowance), health system and civil authorities can be similarly slow and baffling. Things take so long to come into place that for foreigners living here on a short term basis it is barely worth setting any of it up. I say some of this with reserved anger, as I am fully aware of how nice it is that the French state wants to give people money towards their housing and health costs. But most of these minor issues I have ranted about could be resolved so very easily. Most of these petty grievances are shared by many French people. Why, then, do things never get changed? Perhaps France will forever be the country that contrasts stunning landscapes and cities with poo, delicious cuisine with never-ending bank queues, and a feisty protesting spirit with the need to let the things less important on a large scale (but still very annoying when all added up!) go amiss. 

Until they do, I suppose I’ll just have to remain a grumpy young lady.
                                                                                     1 Grumpy Young Lady

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